My spiritual journey has been mostly mainline Protestant Christian. I grew up in Lutheran and Methodist churches. My mother had a huge influence on my faith. She was raised Mennonite in Canada. My father is ordained Methodist from Yale Divinity school, but he preached only 1 year. I married into an ELCA Lutheran family, which fit me just fine.
 
For 10 years, my husband and I have been attending an ELCA Lutheran church in Schaumburg, IL. It's a wonderful church. I LOVE the music there. I sang in the choir. My daughter sang in the children's choir (one of 3 children's choirs). There are 2 bell choirs, an orchestra, a brass ensemble and a contemporary group which does the Crossroads service. This church is a PADS site , has a preschool, and a large Sunday School. We baptized our 3 children there. There is so much going on all the time.

I'm so impressed by the Lutheran commitment to social work. They have enormous organizations for relief missions. Lutheran Social Services of Illinois is the largest social work organization in the state. There are other Lutheran domestic and foreign programs for relieving hunger and suffering. Many of the directors of these programs attend this church. After Hurricane Katrina, I was getting emails from the people reporting on the relief efforts. I emailed my pastor and said I wanted to know what was going on. He received the emails and forwarded them to the people who had asked for updates.

Why am I walking away from it all? The theology no longer works for me.

It started 5 years ago (or more). Well, maybe more. I don't know. As a kid, church often felt empty to me. There were times in my life when I felt like it worked, or I tried to make it work.  I felt expected to believe the Bible as literally true, even though my church said they didn't really read it that way. They never explained how they DID read it, though. The beauty of the music kept me going. I sang in the choir. It is so easy to get carried away emotionally by beautiful music.

Five years ago I got laid off from a company I really liked. The job market in 2001/2002 wasn't very reassuring. I decided to place myself in God's hands and believe everything would work out. I chose to believe there was a reason for it all happening. I was hired by an aquaintance who required my EXACT set of skills. This acquaintance, my new boss, is a fundamentalist Christian. I was his new project. I defended myself as best I could. I certainly will never know the bible the way he does.  He asked me all kinds of questions about what I believed. We debated many issues and joked about each other's religion.  Many times I made the mistake of accepting his implied ground rules: if it isn't in the bible, it can't be used as evidence in the debate.

I got to know him pretty well. Even though this constant nagging was annoying, I came to understand his mindset better. He lives with a lot of fear. He grew up in a bad NYC neighborhood. Even though he lives is a comfortable NW Chicagoburb, he has not left behind the caution needed to live in the inner city. Sometimes I felt my faith was stronger than his.

One night after work, we talked for a long time in the cold parking lot, which was common for us to do.  I do not remember what he said but it pushed a button. I spoke to my pastor about it. She mentioned there are programs for people recovering from being fundamentalist. The next day I bought John ShelbySpong's Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism. I was on my way.

One day, my boss came up to me and asked, "So what are you reading lately?". I told him he really didn't want to know. He insisted, so I said, "Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism". He got indignant and said, "HEY!!!! I'M, a fundamentalist!!". It was so funny. I replied, "yes and you have a fear-based, insecure religion". Somehow that was the end of his constant pushing. I truly believe I am in the right place at the right time. God used him to challenge me and push me to where I need to be.

Over the years I've read more Spong books and essays. I've been fortunate to share them with my mother, who just as interested as I am. His scholarship of the scriptures questions everything: the virgin birth, the resurrection, even the concept of God. Frequently, we ask each other "what kind of belief system does this guy imagine? What kind of church is that?"

Here is his answer:
"The Unity Movement is a branch of Christianity to which I have in recent years become deeply attracted, as it quite self-consciously seeks to redefine the Christian faith outside the categories of sin, guilt, rescue and control. Its theology begins in Matthew Fox's concept of "Original Blessing" rather than with the traditional concept of "Original Sin." It sees and encourages personal growth and the call to full humanity. It proclaims a Christianity built on love and inclusion. It affirms each person as he or she is and then seeks to provide both the community and the resources to help that person grow into being all that he or she can be. Unity sees Christianity as a religion of acceptance not judgment, of expanding life not controlling behavior. The Unity movement contains much of what I believe will mark the Christian Church of the future."

I read that last week, but I found Unity in July. I am so grateful for the internet because we can research anything at the touch of a button. I found my new church this way. When I read tThe 5 Unity Principles on the web I knew it was right for me.

1. There is only one Presence and one Power active as the universe and as my life, God the Good.

2. Our essence is of God; therefore, we are inherently good. This God essence was fully expressed in Jesus, the Christ.

3. We are co-creators with God, creating reality through thoughts held in mind.

4. Through prayer and meditation, we align our heart-mind with God. Denials and affirmations are tools we use.

5. Through thoughts, words and actions, we live the Truth we know.

I read more on the web. I am subscribed to all kinds of newsletters. I even subscribe Unity sermon podcasts from 2 churches.  There are 2 churches near me; both are over 30 minutes away. I went to one service. The next week I brought the kids. The next week, the whole family went. I felt like this was right, but I wanted to make sure my husband wasOk with the change. I was amazed that all he said was, "Sure, this seems like a nice church."

He's ready to leave our old church like that? SO easy? For me it seems like I'm getting divorced.  This new church feels like a new lover to me. I'm EXCITED about God like never before. I feel alive! And the old church is familiar, safe, it serves a lot more needs than the new church, I know a ton of people there, we have history.   And yet, no one noticed we were missing for a few months. No calls or emails. Shouldn't they have noticed when fall rolled around and we didn't enroll our kids in Sunday School and I never showed up for choir? Even though we attended there for 10 YEARS, we couldn't find anyone we could ask to sponsor our children in baptism.

It took me a whole Saturday to draft an email to my Lutheran pastors about moving on.  I needed closure. I didn't want to just drift away. They wrote back very nice responses.

I asked people I knew but it seemed this is not a common experience - saying goodbye when you move to a new church. (I didn't check Miss Manners or Emily Post...) Last week at the Unity church, there was a couple moving to Florida and this was their last Sunday in Illinois. They got a round of applause for their contributions while attending here. I thought, that's what I want from my old church. I want to say good bye. I want recognition for my contributions and I want good wishes as I continue on my path of spiritual growth. If we were moving out of state it would beok.  Instead it's to another state of consciousness (pardon the bad pun, I've been enjoying Swami Beyondananda).

My mother has started attending a Unity church where she lives. She is a member of the same Methodist church that my sister  and her kids attend. But she gets a lot more out of the Unity services. I'm sharing my sermon podcasts with her too!

From Spiritual Parenting pod   Aug 26, 12:30 AM:

I work at a LARGE corporation. My role is 2nd tier support. I'm a bit more technical than the help desk, but 3rd tier is made up of the developers - the real experts. When this system was rolled out a few years ago, the developers wanted complete control and wanted to be involved for every issue. That has changed over time. Now our teams are not getting along at all. The 3rd tier wants us to take on more ownership and responsibility. They have had many meetings over the years to "explain" how things work without giving us very good documentation. We have contractors that roll off after 12-18 months, and it seems to take that long to get them trained. 

Anyway, I recently had a question about how something worked. I sent an email out to my team and no one responded. I have been trying SO HARD not to call the 3rd tier, as there are a few people who really complain. Before they help me, they say,  "you have been supporting this system for over 3 years. You SHOULD know this". That is a valid point. I AM trying to do a better job. Frankly, I didn't know the answer. (and there is no manual to refer back to). I was in a situation where I needed this info, but I didn't want to ask the question. It was very frustrating.

As I was talking about it to my coworkers - -  it hit me.

I'll bet I talk to my eldest daughter (6 years old) this way!  My husband and I are so hard on her when she does stupid things. It would seem she should know better!

When I thought about how frustrated I feel in his situation, and the fact that I'm an adult, with more options than a SIX YEAR OLD, I sobbed. How unfair for her.

I will try to have greater patience and compassion with her.

This is from the WIE (what is enlightenment) pod.

When I read the name of this pod, I read it in German. WIE means HOW in English.

OKAY, this may be weird.

I have been meditating with Holosync - which is binaural technology.  One tone goes in one ear and another in the other ear. They cancel each other out and the difference in Mhz creates a brainwave pattern in the listener's brain. There was a study done in the 70's with Transcendental Meditation and brainwaves. The proprietor, Bill Harris, proposes that this technology can create the SAME brainwaves in me as experienced nuns and monks have when they meditate.  So it is a short cut to meditation. I have just switched to a new church (Unity), which stresses the importance of meditation to commune with God.

When people meditate alone and they experience God, is it any different from when I meditate with Holosync and have the same brain wave patterns? Is the experience of God is only a certain brain wave pattern? If that is so, and we are able to manipulate brain wave patterns in humans, what are we doing? Are we summoning God? Is God only physiological? I really don't think so, but it's a valid question.

One way to find the answer is to pray about it. I asked the question and (if it was God that answered) I got this:
It doesn't matter. either way is fine

Doesn't that just figure!!!

A scientist named Dr. Michael Persinger is doing fascinating research on the mind/God connection. A site that really goes into this topic and Persinger's work can be found at

http://www.innerworlds.50megs.com/.

Through Julia's blog, I found dropping knowledge.

This is the question I asked: 

What would happen if every roof in my entire city had solar panels networked into the power grid? Valerie Howells, 38, Elgin, IL, USA

 A few years ago I heard  a story on my local NPR station WBEZ,. It was part of their Chicago Matters series. A woman in Chicago had solar panels installed on her roof and she was wired into the power company. On sunny days she generated more than enough pwer for herself and she sold the rest to the power company. On cloudy days she might need to draw from the grid. At the end of the year she got a check for around $300 from the power company. At the time, the state of Illinois and the power company had a rebate program. I was intrigued and I looked into doing that on my home. I lived in Streamwood and I wasn't sure I would qualify for the program (nevermind having the $15000 for the solar panels). A few years later I was still working on it. I actaully found an environmental consultant who advised I would never recoup my investment.

The Streamwood house was a 3BR, 1 story with no basement and no air conditioning. When we decided to install air conditioning, I registered with some kind of online thing that would find me qualified contractors. One of them was a geo-thermal company. As soon as I saw their  website I started researching geo-thermal.  I wrote to my engineer brother-in-law and cousin. I found some good websites. What a COOL thing! Lots of army bases are set up with geo-thermal.

By the time the salesman was at our house, I could have told HIM about it. I was already sold on geo-thermal. Unfortunately, the guy didn't know that. He wasted my time selling geo-thermal and NOT selling himself.  His bid omitted the cost of electrical work, which was included in all the other HVAC bids. In addition, I couldn't find a competitor to get another bid. I had to compare apples to apples.  It was about $9K for air conditioning but $12K for air conditioning and a new furnace. Basically, we could get air conditioning for a lot less. We liked our heating system. And we didn't know how long we would stay in the house. We would have to convince a buyer to pay more for a house with geo-thermal.  4 1/2 years later, that house was too small with the 3rd child on the way.  We moved to Elgin 18 months ago.

 I see a pattern here (as I'm sure you all do). Here I have these values for renewable energy but I'm letting my pocketbook decide for me. We have to make choices in life.  As cool as it would have been to install geo-thermal energy in that house, skipping it was the right choice at the time for us. The man who bought our house paid as much as he could afford and had to have a friend help him get a mortgage. He doesn't speak English. We would not have been able to sell the house for more than we got.

OK... back to my question.. There are thousands of homes in Illinois and St. Louis without power due to the weather and record power usage. What if those homes had solar panels and were networked to the grid? (assuming no storm damage to the panels...) . So if they grid becomes disconnected, they still have power (on sunny days at least).  Wouldn't that be cool? It would be a completely different  paradigm (I know, overused word) for an energy company.  

My dream is to build a green neighborhood. Live as close to nature and technology  as possible. Buildings that breathe and take advantage of heating and cooling cycles of night and day. Geo-thermal, wind power, solar power, natural water treatment, composting almost everything, beautiful architecture, drought resistant landscaping, mixed residential and commercial  zones - just like an actual city.  It will be designed so that people can walk or bike to places. 

The other side of my brain starts saying things like: you can't "architect" a neighborhood.  It has to come to life naturally, like the way cities form. Otherwise it is sterile and stifled with strange rules. Or you only get people above a certain social and economic class. 

But do you know what we could have? TREEHOUSES! That would be fun! My sister-in-law, Julie, would LOVE to live in a tree house.  Like on the HGTV show Extreme Homes.

Well, it's almost midnight and I've rambled long enough.

Gute Nacht! 

 

I'm Valerie. My husband and I are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this year.  We have 3 children: Elizabeth will be 6 in July, Benjamin just turned 3 in May and Cassandra turned 1 in March.

I have learned so much from them - mostly about letting go of expectations. 

 I work full-time in IT for AT&T. My husband is the graphic artist for the Chicago Fire soccer team . His job allows him to stay with the kids for the most part. His parents help out a lot.  

Beth is in a dual-language program and spends half her day in Spanish. It was a big adjustment for her but she has older cousins in the same program and that helps. Benji will go to  preschool at the local high school where the HS kids are learning early childhood education (that is, as long as he gets potty trained).  Cassie just learned to walk - after she mastered the stairs.

Parenting is tough for me. It doesn't come naturally. The latest bunch of books I'm reading come from Love & Logic Institute, whose philosophy is to react with empathy and allow the consequences of the child's choices to teach them to think for themselves. Allow them to make mistakes when the consequences are small and offer advice (when asked) to help them think through each situation. I'd rather have a 10 year old spendthrift than a 25 year old one. I love this attitude - I just have to remember the techniques in the heat of the moment.

We attend a Lutheran church which would be considered liberal as far as Lutherans go, I guess.  I'm exploring spirituality separate from religion. I believe religion is a window through which we see the same light of God that shines through other windows. I  don't know how to teach the kids about God. Do I put them through Sunday school so that they learn the bible stories (to get the cultural references) and when they get older they just have toun-learn it all? I really like my church, the people, singing in the choir, but the theology isn't doing it for me anymore.

I have a different medical outlook. I would rather support the immune system and allow the body to heal itself. I probably have the most liberal pediatricians in the local area. They don't hand out formula coupons, they hand out La Leche literature! They only vaccinate upon demand. I would like to improve our menu so that we eat more whole foods. The kids still get McDonald's often. We must be lucky or something because none of the kids have had antibiotics since leaving the hospital after birth. I don't take them to the doctor if they have colds.

Anyway, that's a good intro start…

ValerieAnne

I posted this on the AHA! Stories pod. I have been reading a lot about manifesting what i want out of life. I am frequently better and preaching than practicing. This is the Universe telling me that I'm on the right track, I guess. At least, the manifesting formula works ;)

I got to know Sireesha, a contractor at my company. She is from India. She and her husband used to work at Sprint in KS. Her contract ended there and she took the job at AT&T in the NW suburbs of Chicago, IL. She lived with her infant son and mother-in-law. Her husband drove to IL every other weekend. She worked here a year or so and her contract was over. She liked working here so much. She made many friends. She likes IL so much more than KS, but it was hard to be separated from her husband. 

Before she left my company, I spoke to her about positive thinking. I don't quite remember all that I said. I told her it was up to her what she chooses to believe. I told her to imagine the perfect job for her, or even imagine the ideal living situation.  I asked her to believe that God wanted her to be happy and was preparing the exact opportunity for her. I told her about some happy coincidences I had experienced. She was anxious about finding another job with her skillset.  Her contracting company found her a job in downtown Chicago and the commute took 2 hours one way on the train. She was very unhappy.

I ran into her at work the other day. I joked, "Who let you in the building?". It turns out she found another job with Cingular, a subsidiary of my company. She was hired away from the downtown job and not even able to give 2 weeks notice because they wanted her so badly. This job required her entire skillset. She had the exact background they desired. She is working in our building again. The best part is that her husband's contract ended in KS and now he can look for work in Chicago.

She told me she had never considered positive thinking. She thanked me for sharing my ideas and stories with her. It really made a difference.